I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
