so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
