they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
