The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
