So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
