he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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