worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
