I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
pray to the hookup gods
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
