are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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