end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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