At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
