I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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