Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
