summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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