U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
