We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
