I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
