and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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