If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
