i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
