I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
