I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
