this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
