I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
