My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
