my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
