i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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