you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Still dying that you shit outside
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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