I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
