I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
