I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
