Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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