this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
