Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
