thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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