kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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