literally had 100 drinks last night.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
