There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
