She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
