How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
