I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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