Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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