she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
