Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
