my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
