i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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