we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
