...so i touched it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
