She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
