I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
