i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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