i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize