Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
