Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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