That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
