Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
