And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
