Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i wish my penis had a tongue
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
