How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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