you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
