I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it's like iHOP with fire
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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