she was so not down for the gang bang
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
