is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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