Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
