therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He kissed a someone with a penis
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
