whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
