I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
