wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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