Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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