Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
