She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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