The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
