you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
