you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
