he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
