Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
