What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize